Vanessa Raney

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About Me

Perspectives Into Myself

Of a human heart

Here's the man I love,

haunting me in sleep:

embedded in a memory.

How far before the night unfolds,

waking sleeping suns

forgotten in the ocean's tide?

Nothing more than this:

forbidden, yet insistent:

the power of a human heart.

Vanessa Raney, 2008

I love him. He is my heart.
But, also, the bond is there because of the baby we lost; I miscarried in California.

To Return the Eye


“A Trip to the Moon” took a piece of it[1],

which sought to travel alone

but attached as the “Eye-Balloon”[2].


“Everywhere Eyeballs Are Ablaze,”

the eye began to look upward,

needing to feel whole again.[3]


However, “The Misshapen Polyp Floated on the Shores,

a Sort of Smiling and Hideous Cyclops”

still yearning for its true self in the heavens.[4]


The moon holding sway over the earth,

one day a giant came to return the eye,

who swam toward it eagerly and free.[5]


Faith intervened with the eye,

who found a partner to read man’s soul,

predicting “Things to Come.”[6]


From “The False Mirror,”

the eye saw white cloud screens

against blue veils of home.[7] Thus,


the eye made itself a black cloak

which the giant spun

to reconnect it with the moon.[8]


Vanessa Raney


© 2007, all rights reserved.

[1] Georges Méliès, 1902. In The Collection: “Georges Méliès (French, 1861-1938).” <> 13 Oct. 2006.

[2] Odilon Redon, 1878. In “Beyond the Visible: The Art of Odilon Redon” (Oct 30, 2005—January 23, 2006). <> Also, in The Collection: “Odilon Redon: (French, 1840-1916).” <> 13 Oct. 2006.

[3] Redon, 1888. Plate IX from the portfolio The Temptation of Saint Anthony (first series). In “Beyond the Visible: The Art of Odilon Redon” (30 Oct. 2005-23 Jan. 2006). <> 13 Oct. 2006.

[4] Redon, 1883. Plate III from the portfolio The Origins.  In “Beyond the Visible: The Art of Odilon Redon” (30 Oct. 2005-23 Jan. 2006). <> 13 Oct. 2006.

[5] Martin Kippenberger. “Untitled (What we gone do).” In The Collection: “Martin Kippenberger (German, 1953-1997). <> 13 Oct. 2006.

[6] Herbert Bayer, 1938. In The Collection: “Herbert Bayer. (American, born Austria, 1900-1985).” <> 13 Oct. 2006.

[7] René Magritte, 1928. In The Collection: “René Magritte. (Belgian, 1898-1967).” <> 13 Oct. 2006.

[8] Giuseppe Penome. “Untitled (No. 4).” In The Collection: “Giuseppe Penome. (Italian, born 1947). <> 13 Oct. 2006.

People shouting at the world over megaphones; Size=240 pixels wide

Here are some of my favorite movies:

The Last Airbender (M. Night Shyamalan finally delivers!), Karate Kid (2010 version, a remake that's better than the original!), Diary of a Wimpy Kid (great comedy that's fun for children and adults), Repo Men (great action flick with decent blood/fighting/acting/etc.!), The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (if it's not a contender for best picture, something's wrong!), Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs in 3D (really amazing artwork and a decent script!), My Bloody Valentine 3D (my first ever 3D movie - and I liked it!), Drive Thru, High School Musical 2 (overall, good script, but it's the music that sells it), Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Accepted, Waking Life, 12 MonkeysThe Dark Crystal, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Beauty and the Beast (Disney), The Bone Collector, Fat Albert, House of Cards (with Kathleen Turner), Legend (with Tom Cruise), Remember the TitansPoltergeist, Fame, The Neverending Story, Van Helsing (the 2004 release, for getting Frankenstein right), Legally Blonde, Grease (original)

Here are some of my favorite actors:
Denzel Washington, Dakota Fanning, Heath Ledger, Johnny Depp, Morgan Freeman

Here are some of my favorite songs:
"Waiting Outside the Lines" (Greyson Chance), "Open Your Eyes" (Goldfinger), "Never Say Never" (Justin Bieber and Jaden Smith), "Weighty Ghost" (Wintergreen), "The Climb" (Miley Cyrus), "Yallah" (Doa - Turkish language; see, "Sound of Madness" (Shinedown), "Into the Ocean" (Blue October), "Here I Go Again" (Whitesnake), "All These Things That I've Done" (The Killers), "Take Me As I Am" (Mary J. Blige), "What Do Ya Think About That" (Montgomery Gentry), "Waiting on the World to Change" (John Mayer), "Snow (Hey Oh)" (Red Hot Chili Peppers), "One Little Slip" (Barenaked Ladies), "Life Less Ordinary" (Carbon Leaf), "Because of You" (Kelly Clarkson), "Welcome to My Life" (Simple Plan), "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" (Green Day), "Nobody's Home" (April Lavigne), "angels would fall" (melissa etheridge), "Place in This World" (Michael W. Smith), "Sally's Pigeons" (Cyndi Lauper)

Here are some of my favorite authors:

Ayn Rand (you need Atlas Shrugged to get The Fountainhead, which got me going "Whoa" at the end; as a creator, I could relate to the destructive desires in refusing to compromise for others desperate to change people to fit a collective norm than allowing for individuality), T.S. Eliot, J.K. Rowling, June Jordan (her children's stories and librettos), Edgar Allen Poe, Mark Twain, Nathaniel Hawthorne, e.e. cummings, George Orwell, Margaret Atwood (esp. The Robber Bride), Jean-Paul Sartre (performed from Huis Clos and placed 2nd in the 1993 Texas French Symposium), Rob Sato (love Burying Sandwiches)

Great divides

While I lived on-campus as a Claremont Graduate University student in 2003-2004, one of the things I learned is that what separates us as people from different cultures is our quick willingness to agree with or mimic what others say without actually listening and trying to comprehend. Perhaps it's part of the political correctness world we live in today, but if we accept that it's okay to argue (though dialogue is much better and interesting), we might be willing to confront ourselves and others about what we're thinking.
I remember, for example, when I approached this guy to extend an offer of friendship, his response was, "I'd love to get to know you better, too." This was Mar. 2004, but it wasn't until Jan. 2005 that I received this e-mail response: "I am sorry but I have no interest in you."
As a woman - for any guys who might be reading this (or girls in application to guys, etc.) - I'd rather know upfront what you feel than be led on with a lie. In this case, the particular guy was my first love; if he'd been honest, I wouldn't have given him the poem I wrote him in May 2004.
Back to my point: How can we address hate if we're not willing to face it? We need to recognize that what underlies argumentation is emotion; if we stomach the harangue (in whatever forms, passion, anger, etc.)  to grasp that while there may be no ultimate right or wrong, what we get to are issues rather than personal attacks.

Things I want to say:
Yes, I'm blunt - because I don't want to be fake/a hypocrite.
All I want is to be respected; I don't care if you dis/like me.
Being human means we can feel; I won't screen my emotions.
I expect people to lie; what will surprise me is genuineness.
There's more to me than the way I look (i.e., I have a mind).

Post I Made to the Society for the Study of Narrative Literature Listserv (SSNL):

"I wouldn't have called myself a woman at 9 when I started my period or developed breasts. I'd already had crushes on boys during that time, too, but I don't count myself as woman then. I think we're overly dependant on things like men to define ourselves as women. And if we're only looking in those terms, or seeing ourselves in relation to sex to make us women or not, I think it's a little naive.

"Today, 9 year olds have sex - are these girls women? That's where feminism enters and makes a more interesting choice: Why can't being a woman be about making choices? About recognizing that we can be self-sufficient. Does my being fat, independently minded make me less of a woman than a thin, dependently minded female?

"When I was in California, I had to constantly hear put downs from men [Ozan Sula and his gang] because of my weight. Last week I nude modelled for the first ime, which has me now invested in questions about the gaze. A few years ago we started talking to girls about self-sufficiency, about not seeing ourselves in relation to men to define [ourselves] as women. Are we suddenly going backward by insisting that we are women only when we think about sex or see ourselves in relation to men?

"I'd hope not, and that's why I liked the scholarship I was referring to: it looked at being woman in a different way than simply in relation to men. Yes, we're all budding sexually at any age; just look at Freud and others who've pointed out that male infants get erections at that age. But until we start to see that we don't need men to be women, I think we'll go a lot further as a sex.

"- Vanessa Raney"

2009-2011 Schedule
COM/505: Professional Communications
AET/505: Foundations of Adult Education and Training
AET/510: Critical Issues and Trends in Adult Education and Training
EDD/569: Introduction to Action Research
AET/515: Instructional Design
AET/520: Instructional Strategies in Adult Education and Training
QNT/575: Measurement, Evaluation, and Ethics in Research
AET/525: Facilitating Instruction for Diverse Adult Learners
AET/530: Technology for the Adult Learner
AET/535: Assessment and Evaluation in Adult Learning
AET/540: E-Learning
EDD/577: Action Research
AET/545: E-Learning Design Technologies
EDD/580: Applications of Action Research
Anticipated Graduation: June 2011


It's okay to smile. :)