Vanessa Raney

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Please Forgive me

I do not know why but my Page title has got me thinking about the song with the lyrics that go something like, "Please forgive me/I know not what I do/Please forgive me/this pain I'm going through." Do you know it? E-mail me.

It's not that I'm trying to find anime boxed sets, but I thought, as I happen across them, I'd add them here. (And no, I won't list any that are involved with my own research.) So here goes:
Angelic Layer Complete Collection
5 Disc Set, 26 episodes
Broken Saints: The Complete Series
4 Disc Set, 24 episodes
Dnangel: Complete Collection
5 Disc Set, 26 episodes
Pretear: Complete Collection
3 Disc Set, 13 episodes

19 Dec. 2008
Dear Reader,
If you're here reading this, please know that it was a very long journal before I felt comfortable opening up about my miscarriage - but it happened, and for too long I tried to pretend that the father wasn't who he is. It doesn't matter now, though.
One of my projects this winter break is to write 5-6 songs for my lost baby. Then my friend, Zeinab Helmy, will translate them into French. Afterward, I'll upload videos and audios of me singing them in French (with the appropriate credits to Zeinab) on MySpace and You Tube.
I'm still debating at present if I want to add English subtitles. My original hope, however, had been to also include 5-6 songs that I would've sung in Turkish to address my feelings about the father. The problem is I haven't located a Turkish speaking person to help me.
So it's possible I'll sing what were supposed to be the Turkish language songs in English, but not until a later time. I want, first, to grieve for my baby in a way that's most expressive of me: open and creatively. I'm just not ready to do so in English.
Vanessa Raney
* Check out My first name was introduced by Jonathan Swift in his poem, "Cadenus and Vanessa."

One Missed Call - In a case of mixed identity, a girl's spirit enacts revenge for her death that her mother could've prevented, though for most of it, the avenging spirit seems to be the mom. When the girl, who suffered from Munchausen's by proxy in life, possesses the girl who found her mother's dead body (her first victim) and continues to "care" for a man she loves and stabbed. Are they in-between the living and the dead in the end? That's a question with no easy answers given the circumstances portrayed.
MPD Psycho - Two nonrandom stories about a killer who transfers his spirit from person to person, subverting them to his control until he can be resurrected. Surreal effects, like rain that does not get people wet, etc., are cool, but I had no sense of purpose, though I did enjoy the quirkiness of the potted women and also the pregnant women who kill themselves giving birth to babies, one of which will reincarnate the killer, though the girl who wasn't tagged for death gets killed because he wants the baby back that he will use. Of course, these babies might also be intended as an army to continue what he failed to do.

P.S. I first saw the term "J-horror" in, but it's also used on the DVDs.

Monotype 2. VR
created for Materials and Methods class

Informal Reactions to J-Horror:
Premonition - About a man who learns to sacrifice for those most precious to him: his family, though at the cost of his life. The mysterious newspaper that foretells the deaths of others, however, requires a conduit, and, thus, at the end, the father fails his daughter yet again.
Dark Tales of Japan - Five urban tales that begins with spider people ("Spiderwoman"), which takes advantage of a loop that begins and ends with five people in the car. In the first story, two reporters go to verify the reports, but only one of them survives as part of the curse, where the other was probably eaten. In the second story ("Crevices"), a dead hag kills people through open spaces in which she crawls, though we know nothing of her origin, especially when the tenant occupied the place for some time before her appearance, and his fate gets shared with the manager and a friend. In the third story ("Human Sacrifice"), a cycle of mother sacrifice and a ritual that calls a giant demon to take the soul of the willing sacrificed, who do so to protect the daughters. In the fourth story ("Blond Kwaidan"), a Japanese man goes to Hollywood lusting after real blondes, and encounters a blonde demon in an Executive Director's house. In the fifth story (? forgot title), a man fated to die steals from the company hoping to secure a future with his extramarital lover, only to be the object of dead spirits' interests in seeing moments of death that allow them to know life again.
Infection - A strange story seemingly about a dead man's grudge against the doctors and nurses who tried to cover up the fatal error that led to his death. However, it's not clear whether the patient radioed in before the burn victim's death is the same one who is dropped off with the green-eating goo that dissolves the muscle tissues but still allows movement is real or indeed the last doctor's hallucination. The main thrust of the story seems to be a question of extending oneself to the care of others rather than objectifying one's relationships with strangers. The old woman in the story, who appeas to suffer from dementia, however, also raises questions about seeing what is in the mirror: projections or reflections. The Snow White element, indicated by the importance of the mirrors and the apple, is an interesting moniker.
Pulse - I'm not sure what to make of this, but I believe it speaks to the alienness of human relations, and thus people allow themselves to be killed by this spirit who promises togetherness in death. Seemingly an apocalyptic tale that brings two people who've lost friends together, but in the end, the woman has a new male companion in the absence of the other.

It's okay to smile. :)