Great divides While I lived on-campus as a Claremont Graduate University student in 2003-2004, one of the things I learned is that what separates us as people from different cultures is our quick willingness to agree with or mimic what others say without actually listening and trying to comprehend. Perhaps it's part of the political correctness world we live in today, but if we accept that it's okay to argue (though dialogue is much better and interesting), we might be willing to confront ourselves and others about what we're thinking.   I remember, for example, when I approached this guy to extend an offer of friendship, his response was, "I'd love to get to know you better, too." This was Mar. 2004, but it wasn't until Jan. 2005 that I received this e-mail response: "I am sorry but I have no interest in you."   As a woman - for any guys who might be reading this (or girls in application to guys, etc.) - I'd rather know upfront what you feel than be led on with a lie. In this case, the particular guy was my first love; if he'd been honest, I wouldn't have given him the poem I wrote him in May 2004.   Back to my point: How can we address hate if we're not willing to face it? We need to recognize that what underlies argumentation is emotion; if we stomach the harangue (in whatever forms, passion, anger, etc.)  to grasp that while there may be no ultimate right or wrong, what we get to are issues rather than personal attacks. Things I want to say:   Yes, I'm blunt - because I don't want to be fake/a hypocrite.   All I want is to be respected; I don't care if you dis/like me.   Being human means we can feel; I won't screen my emotions.   I expect people to lie; what will surprise me is genuineness.   There's more to me than the way I look (i.e., I have a mind). Post I Made to the Society for the Study of Narrative Literature Listserv (SSNL): "I wouldn't have called myself a woman at 9 when I started my period or developed breasts. I'd already had crushes on boys during that time, too, but I don't count myself as woman then. I think we're overly dependant on things like men to define ourselves as women. And if we're only looking in those terms, or seeing ourselves in relation to sex to make us women or not, I think it's a little naive. "Today, 9 year olds have sex - are these girls women? That's where feminism enters and makes a more interesting choice: Why can't being a woman be about making choices? About recognizing that we can be self-sufficient. Does my being fat, independently minded make me less of a woman than a thin, dependently minded female? "When I was in California, I had to constantly hear put downs from men [Ozan Sula and his gang] because of my weight. Last week I nude modelled for the first ime, which has me now invested in questions about the gaze. A few years ago we started talking to girls about self-sufficiency, about not seeing ourselves in relation to men to define [ourselves] as women. Are we suddenly going backward by insisting that we are women only when we think about sex or see ourselves in relation to men? "I'd hope not, and that's why I liked the scholarship I was referring to: it looked at being woman in a different way than simply in relation to men. Yes, we're all budding sexually at any age; just look at Freud and others who've pointed out that male infants get erections at that age. But until we start to see that we don't need men to be women, I think we'll go a lot further as a sex. "- Vanessa Raney" 2009-2011 Schedule (University of Phoenix)         COM/505: Professional Communications     AET/505: Foundations of Adult Education and Training     AET/510: Critical Issues and Trends in Adult Education and Training     EDD/569: Introduction to Action Research     AET/515: Instructional Design     AET/520: Instructional Strategies in Adult Education and Training     QNT/575: Measurement, Evaluation, and Ethics in Research     AET/525: Facilitating Instruction for Diverse Adult Learners     AET/530: Technology for the Adult Learner     AET/535: Assessment and Evaluation in Adult Learning     AET/540: E-Learning     EDD/577: Action Research     AET/545: E-Learning Design Technologies     EDD/580: Applications of Action Research     Anticipated Graduation: June 2011